Of Truth and Lies

A lot of interesting things happened today. Mostly a lot of truths have been brought to light. It ceases to surprise me, what the human heart and mind are capable of. They are capable of of the fiercest love, the most soul enlightening happiness, the crushing despair and the bitterest of betrayals. Yet, as always, perception is subjective. What could bring the most joy for others could be the most earth shattering of heartbreaks for the rest.
What would provoke one to partake of such things? Is it absolute boredom? Is it unending conceit? Is it a loneliness that needs to be assuaged? Is it a pile of up of disappointments finally bubbling forth from its precipice?
Who would want to live a half-lived life? Who wouldn't want to feel so completely and utterly alive?
However, as always, there is a cost to be paid. Would it be worth it? The briefest moments of pleasure could yield the most saturating sensation of pain.
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What do you have to offer her? What exists that you have not taken? Yet, she, like a lamb for slaughter, innocently bleats. Knowing full well the hardships ahead, she still treads. Is that courage? Is that stupidity? Is that a broken heart begging to be made whole even if for a few moments of lies?
She knows.
Yet she persists.
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"Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth."
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"A lie told often enough becomes the truth."
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What is love anyway? I have uttered it enough.
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A heart beats fast; awaiting him.
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How much more until it is enough?

Structure

So as tonight, I'd usually be playing Sims 3 but I wanted something different. Well, not so different since I'm watching Gossip Girl season 2. So anyway, I got to the episode where Nate reconnects with his Kennedy-esque family. It's all ostentatious and all but I find myself a tad jealous. They have family reunions, family games, and other things. They all have issues, of course -- what family doesn't? Yet, its the tradition that they stick to. They commemorate the start of their family and they reminisce on the people that had gone...
And that's where it hits me. It hits quite hard. Who amongst the departed do I remember? Who do I commemorate and miss? I remember as far as my paternal and maternal grandparents yet nothing beyond that. I do not even know if they had brothers or sisters. Well, that's a lie, I do know if they had siblings. Yet, I don't think I've met them. Or if I had, I sincerely do not recall. What I do remember are stories on how they may have been horrible.
My aunt Tish regales me of stories of grand reunions with her clan. She even invited me to go. I turned her down. It would seem so odd to celebrate a family that was not mine. What do I celebrate about my family? Not much. We all hardly talk to each other. Everyone's too busy with their lives and their wealth. Coming from a privileged background, you'd think we'd all have the decency and breeding to stay in touch. Oh well, I suppose that's asking for too much. Although, I still am jealous. I want something like that. I want something stable to fall back on. I want to be certain that I'll be surrounded by smiles and family. I want a noisy breakfast with bickering and jokes and a warm meal.
Is that asking for too much? --That's not whiny or anything; it's a truly heartfelt question.
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Geh. I'm hungry.

Unsurprised

I suppose 'twas only a matter of time before you return to your roots. I have mentioned in a previous post that I do hope for the best, but I am not a fool. Nor, do I choose to blind myself with the inevitability of your actions.

Like I said, it was only a matter of time.

I wonder, is it worth it?
What odd sense of pleasure do you get from acting like a most unmitigated and atrocious ass?

Of course the pang and sting of betrayal is still there, yet, it seems that it is not as great or as trouble as times past. I guess you've desensitized me. I guess I should be thankful for that. Yet, I know that I shouldn't thank you for anything.

How utterly selfish you are. That, I realize, is unlikely to change.
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I've finished playing Fable III.
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On a lighter note, I've recently discovered a lot of packaged tours around the city and other parts of Davao. They all seem wonderful and I thought that it was time that I partook of the culture that my fair city prides itself in.

Also, mother's birthday is next month and it's time to make preparations. I've researched a couple of resorts that she'd like. It's nearby and won't break the budget at all. I just have to coordinate with Ni-chan so we can plan things smoothly. I hope mother's leave gets approved.
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I've been rekindling my love affair with Multiply. It isn't a full flame yet but maybe it'll get there.
I guess I'm bored again.
I need to work my boredom away.