Structure

So as tonight, I'd usually be playing Sims 3 but I wanted something different. Well, not so different since I'm watching Gossip Girl season 2. So anyway, I got to the episode where Nate reconnects with his Kennedy-esque family. It's all ostentatious and all but I find myself a tad jealous. They have family reunions, family games, and other things. They all have issues, of course -- what family doesn't? Yet, its the tradition that they stick to. They commemorate the start of their family and they reminisce on the people that had gone...
And that's where it hits me. It hits quite hard. Who amongst the departed do I remember? Who do I commemorate and miss? I remember as far as my paternal and maternal grandparents yet nothing beyond that. I do not even know if they had brothers or sisters. Well, that's a lie, I do know if they had siblings. Yet, I don't think I've met them. Or if I had, I sincerely do not recall. What I do remember are stories on how they may have been horrible.
My aunt Tish regales me of stories of grand reunions with her clan. She even invited me to go. I turned her down. It would seem so odd to celebrate a family that was not mine. What do I celebrate about my family? Not much. We all hardly talk to each other. Everyone's too busy with their lives and their wealth. Coming from a privileged background, you'd think we'd all have the decency and breeding to stay in touch. Oh well, I suppose that's asking for too much. Although, I still am jealous. I want something like that. I want something stable to fall back on. I want to be certain that I'll be surrounded by smiles and family. I want a noisy breakfast with bickering and jokes and a warm meal.
Is that asking for too much? --That's not whiny or anything; it's a truly heartfelt question.
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Geh. I'm hungry.

Unsurprised

I suppose 'twas only a matter of time before you return to your roots. I have mentioned in a previous post that I do hope for the best, but I am not a fool. Nor, do I choose to blind myself with the inevitability of your actions.

Like I said, it was only a matter of time.

I wonder, is it worth it?
What odd sense of pleasure do you get from acting like a most unmitigated and atrocious ass?

Of course the pang and sting of betrayal is still there, yet, it seems that it is not as great or as trouble as times past. I guess you've desensitized me. I guess I should be thankful for that. Yet, I know that I shouldn't thank you for anything.

How utterly selfish you are. That, I realize, is unlikely to change.
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I've finished playing Fable III.
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On a lighter note, I've recently discovered a lot of packaged tours around the city and other parts of Davao. They all seem wonderful and I thought that it was time that I partook of the culture that my fair city prides itself in.

Also, mother's birthday is next month and it's time to make preparations. I've researched a couple of resorts that she'd like. It's nearby and won't break the budget at all. I just have to coordinate with Ni-chan so we can plan things smoothly. I hope mother's leave gets approved.
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I've been rekindling my love affair with Multiply. It isn't a full flame yet but maybe it'll get there.
I guess I'm bored again.
I need to work my boredom away.

24 and a Day

So, I turned 24 yesterday...and like always, I don't feel any different. :\

What do I usually do when the big 10-29 rolls around? I usually sit down and compare my thoughts, feelings, situations to the many 10-29's of years past. I reflect on the things that I may have upgraded or downgraded to be. So let's see...

-I'm still not used to being stared at whenever I go in public. (Am I really that much of an oddity?)
-I would still rather stay in and vegetate rather than go to the mall on a regular basis.
-I find that I have an increasing urge to travel this country or any other.
-I am more world weary as compared to my last year starry-eyed self.
-As always, the only birthday memories that stand out are during my 18th and 22nd celebrations.
-I'm still wishing that something special would happen.

Usually people would ask me what I want for my birthday. The thing is...I don't want to have to be asked what I want for my birthday or what I want it be like. I'd like to believe that those around me would know me well enough to know what I would like.

Now, at 24, it's like a pebble has sank into my heart.
I'm an endless romantic in an unromantic life.

Or so it seems so far.
What I haven't given up on (and isn't likely to change) is hope. I always hope for the best and I know it'll always get better. ♥

Sentimental Me

I had recently gotten into photo shopping and such and I while I was studying the different styles and such, I suddenly missed my dear friend, Donna. So D, I made this one for you!